slowly moving to five masks

17 Sep, 2026

i initially wrote this on september 17, 2025. its been sitting in my drafts since then, publishing it a year later.

i vividly remember that more than a decade ago when facebook, orkut, and googleplus were the rage (and no parents were on it), i really wanted to update my online profile with as much personal info as possible. it just felt right, it was like an online scrapbook. my mom would have never purchased me the physical books that so many of my classmates had. i never asked, but knew i would be ridiculed for even asking about it.

i dont remember all the details but i am kinda sure that nobody even asked me to fill in their book over the years. but having similar details on facebook felt so nice, like i could finally participate in something i secretly wanted for so long.

one thing i clearly remember is the relationship status part. i so so wanted to fill up that detail, but i was single. but i used to daydream about it a lot. how i would update it, how it would be the talk of the school, how it would be so damn cool to do it, how i definitely would be able to update it when i would be off to college. (spoiler: those daydreams never came true)

over time, things changed, my friends quickly moved on from facebook, it was almost irrelevant when i was in my undergrad, and instagram was picking up.

nostalgic side note:

• i remember being one of the earliest members on instagram way back in 2011, i remember posting random posts back then.
• instagram, angry birds, flipboard were my go-to apps that i used on my ipod touch.
• it was my first apple product. the thrill i got from using that device, i still haven't been able to with any other device since then.

anyways, i never fully updated my personal details on facebook, and neither did most of my friends. facebook started to get parents which is totally uncool, so updating details became irrelevant. the very first time i created a 'separate' identity was for work - a polished email address and profile photo for linkedin. over time, i felt weird putting so much of my personal info on the internet so started creating pseudonyms when browsing the web.

in the past few years, the fragmenting of my online identities has accelerated the more time i spend online. i practically have a separate identity for all the things i do online. as of september 17, 2026, i have five masks -

1. real identity: for personal - this is the catchall and default that I use across the internet
   • personal profile photo (almost six years old photo)
   • personal instagram account that I can share with friends and family.
   • these accounts have zero posts/comments. It's clean - just use it to browse around these apps.
   • my default (and oldest) gmail account that I usually use to sign-in with all apps and newsletters
2. real identity: for work - this is the polished professional mask tailored for linkedin.
   • professional profile photo (almost ten years old photo)
   • work-specific gmail account that i use for linkedin
3. semi-anonymous: for personal - this is for online communities.
   • random username
   • cartoon figure as profile photo
   • for personal bluesky, tumblr, letterboxd, and discord
4. semi-anonymous: for work - i am learning programming and unfortunately most of the programming community happens to be on x. i eventually might link it to my work profile and personal website but being anonymous seems safer as a beginner when i might fumble and embarrass myself as i am trying to learn in public.
   • random username
   • notion faces as profile photo
   • for bluesky (work), x, and github
5. anonymous: for personal - currently just two places - this blog, and a private instagram account
   • username that has a personal meaning to me, while being meaningless to everyone else
   • cartoon figure as profile photo

it might seem complicated but it kinda makes sense in my mind, and because all these sprung up organically over the years, it doesn't feel so overwhelming to maintain these identities. it actually feels liberating.

obviously i am sure if a stalker is dedicated enough they'll be able to stitch together all my various personas across the internet, but for most people i am anonymous, and that makes me feel happy, and free.

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